TALLINN — This winter, heating bills in Estonia have skyrocketed to such absurd levels that many residents are reportedly considering relocating to Latvia, where they hear the leib is cheaper and the winters are nearly as cold.
Local man Mart, 37, shared his concerns while shivering in his unheated apartment near the Sea of Tallinn. “I was trying to save on heating by just wearing three layers of socks, but the walls are cracking — I might as well crack open the passport and head to Latvia,” he said while sipping lukewarm kohv.
Residents are now flocking to social media to find potential sub-let arrangements, with hashtags like #LatviaHousingMarket and #TooColdToCare trending. One popular post offered a “cozy” room near a Latvian lake, complete with a full-time sauna and constant access to mulled wine for the “incredibly low price” of one Estonian crown.
“We used to mock Latvians for their weather; turns out we just didn’t realize they had the right idea about heating options,”
Additional strategies include forming heating co-ops or simply covering themselves in traditional Estonian blankets and pretending it’s a hot summer day — a response that has led to many spontaneous sing-alongs of “Kalevipoeg” in living rooms.
At press time, scientists were collecting data on whether the average Estonian prefers a chilly home or moving out entirely.