TALLINN — Peeter, a 37-year-old father from Tallinn, faced an existential crisis this week after his child sustained minor injuries in an electric scooter accident. Instead of focusing on healing, Peeter has taken a pragmatic approach: he immediately filled out grant applications for a university degree.
”I thought, if they want to drive scooters around our cobblestones, they should at least have an education to back it up,” Peeter said while sipping a strong cup of kohv. “Plus, it might earn me some street cred at the next sauna.”
When asked about the nature of the accident, Peeter grimly reported, “It involved a dog, a pothole, and a very confused tourist. Let’s just say nobody will be using that scooter anytime soon.”
Local authorities have assured residents that safety measures will be taken, including a comprehensive seminar on scooter etiquette and pedestrian avoidance. However, Peeter’s fixation on higher education has led him to wonder why he wasted valuable time on parenting instead of pursuing a degree in Urban Electric Mobility.
“If my child can’t ride a scooter, at least I can learn about them,” he added, staring dreamily into the distance, contemplating an academic future filled with seminars, thesis papers, and more pothole navigation. Even his wife, Liisa, seemed amused by the idea. “Why not just let him ride a bicycle?” she quipped. But Peeter was not swayed from his vision.
At press time, Peeter was seen seeking counseling regarding conflicting feelings about scooters and college debt.