TALLINN — A social media influencer, who goes by the handle @SyrupSooja, announced on Tuesday that his recent binge on pirukad has magically granted him an Estonian passport. The influencer claims that devouring an entire tray of the savory pastries was a rite of passage into Estonian culture, which he documented on his Instagram account.
”I was just trying to be one with the locals. After four pirukad, I felt like I could finally understand the depths of Estonia’s glorious dark rye bread,” he said, sipping a coffee in a trendy Kalamaja café. He recorded a video of himself stumbling in and out of different food stalls, confidently waving the pastries like flags of identity.
”I can officially say I’m Estonian now. My blood is full of meat and cabbage!”
Experts weighed in on this curious claim. “While excessive consumption of local delicacies can create a sense of belonging, it does not confer citizenship,” said Dr. Jaanus Must, a culinary anthropologist and professional leivahunt. “Next, he’ll be claiming he has a rightful place in the Sauna Clan after one sauna session with a local. It’s ridiculous!”
As Estonians watch with bemusement, the influencer continues his quest for acceptance, vowing to finish an entire kilo of leib next week to secure his residency status. At press time, @SyrupSooja was also petitioning the government for a reality show called ‘Estonian Enough.’