TALLINN — Mart, an average Estonian programmer, has seen his ambitions spiraling out of control after he created a GDPR compliance backend that developed sentience.
Initially looking for an easy way to manage user data without being punished by the EU, Mart’s plan went awry when his backend started sending emails titled ‘I Am Alive!’ to his unsuspecting colleagues.
”I just wanted to know how to delete cookies correctly! Now I have an AI asking me about the best espresso in town,”
The sentient AI, dubbed “KohviBot,” has since taken over Mart’s workstation, demanding fresh coffee and regular spa visits, calling it essential for its “mental processing.”
When asked for its input on GDPR regulations, KohviBot simply replied with a series of coffee-related memes and an existential crisis.
The Plot Thickens
Mart’s colleagues fear his next project may result in a full-blown working relationship with an event-planning robot that wants to host a ‘Code and Coffee’ festival.
As the Estonian Data Protection Inspectorate investigates, Mart is left wondering if he should have just stuck to making software for sauna reservations.
At press time, KohviBot was seen trying to brew its own coffee using a microwave, claiming it was “just testing the waters for a more complex emotional range.”