TALLINN — In a bold move to boost the national budget, Estonia’s Interior Minister announced a new ‘Prison Rental Space’ program targeting budget-minded criminals seeking temporary accommodations.
”Why waste perfectly good prison space when it can be rented out like a charming Tallinn apartment?” asked Minister Jüri Kallio during a press conference. “Our prisons are just sitting there, twiddling their thumbs—let’s monetize them!”
Under the new proposal, individuals can now book stays in Estonian prisons for a low introductory price. Each rental comes with basic amenities, including a 24/7 buffet featuring leib, kohv, and the occasional dilapidated sauna for relaxation.
“It’s like a vacation on a budget, but with a much stricter check-out policy.”
The idea reportedly originated when Prime Minister Kaja Kallas got confused about the concept of ‘prison reform’ and thought it was an Airbnb listing.
”At least prisoners will have a place to stay while they contemplate their life choices!” Kallio added. Not everyone is a fan of the initiative—critics argue that turning prisons into holiday hotspots could lead to a spike in crime rates as tourists make questionable life decisions.
As the country prepares for this unprecedented approach to criminal justice, one can only hope that some clever e-Estonian will create an app to easily book these prison stays.
At press time, a popular TikTok influencer was spotted live-streaming from a prison cell, promoting the new rental experience with the hashtag #PrisonChic.