TALLINN — In an attempt to combine two modern marvels, local entrepreneur Jüri has opened a new e-coffee shop that exclusively accepts blockchain coffee beans as payment. Despite having no idea what that means, Jüri insists it will revolutionize the coffee industry.
”I saw some articles about cryptocurrency and thought, ‘Why not coffee?” he stated during the grand opening held at his home office, surrounded by several unbrewed packets of beans.
Customers reportedly praised the idea, though most quit when they learned they needed a digital wallet to buy actual coffee. Peeter, a confused customer, said, “I just wanted a nice cup of kohv, not a tutorial on how to mine my morning brew on the blockchain.”
Critics point out that the concept is preposterous, reminding Jüri that no one has tasted these blockchain beans. Jüri remains undeterred, adding, “The beans have to be somewhere in the ether!”
As the initial excitement faded, so too did the interest in his e-coffee venture. Disgruntled customers now joke that they might as well pay in Zoom calls.
At press time, Jüri was contemplating opening an e-sauna where patrons pay to sweat virtually. The excitement is palpable.