TALLINN — Mart Johannes, a 32-year-old Estonian man, just wanted to open an online bakery using e-Residency. Instead, he was accidentally appointed as the new Prime Minister.
”I thought I was clicking on the right forms!” said Mart. “One moment I was filling out a survey about my favorite leib, and the next, I was holding a cabinet meeting over Zoom with the ministers of all sorts of things I’ve never heard of!”
Mart’s unintended journey to the highest political office began when he mistakenly clicked a link on a government website he assumed was the application for a bakery license.
“He’s doing a great job considering he didn’t even know Estonia had a Ministry of Digital Affairs,” said Juri, a confused political analyst.
Within days, Mart found himself giving speeches to lawmakers and trying to decipher thick binders of laws, all while searching for “how to lead a country” on Google.
In a twist of fate, the government’s transparency policy left Mart with a huge audience, and he seemed to be doing quite well. His first act? A mandatory coffee break for all cabinet meetings, which he labeled as a “Kohv Reform.”
As Mart’s popularity grows, he faces challenges adjusting to his duties, such as dealing with cranky bureaucrats and attempting to host a Song Festival while running a country on the side.
“I just wanted to make good pastries, not national policies!” he said while staring at a budget report larger than any muffin recipe.
At press time, Mart was considering running for re-election on a platform of improved home-cooked meals in the Parliament canteen.