TALLINN — Startup enthusiast Peeter Rist, after consuming three cups of artisanal ‘Kohvi Superpower’ from a hipster café, claims to have gained the ability to solve Estonia’s problems, including the perpetual tram delays. He also reports an inability to focus and a need for a nap.
”I just felt this surge of creativity after the third cup! I could feel the energy of Kalevipoeg flowing through me!” Peeter exclaimed while sitting on the floor of the café, surrounded by crumpled napkins and a half-eaten leib sandwich.
His claims have caught the attention of several local investors intrigued by the idea of ‘Talent Brewed Under Pressure.’ However, they were reportedly worried after Peeter had to be carried home by two friends when he couldn’t walk straight after his caffeinated epiphany.
”We wanted to create a drink that gives people the energy to tackle Estonia’s biggest challenges—like choosing between Rimi or Selver. But now, we also need to create an app for safe transportation post-brew!”
At press time, Peeter was still on the café floor pondering over if he should invest in a sauna instead.