TALLINN — A group of frustrated Tallinn residents have filed a petition to the weather gods demanding ‘atmospheric detours’ after a sudden rainstorm ruined their weekend picnics.
Local picnic enthusiast Mart said, “It’s simple. I shouldn’t have to choose between enjoying the sun and sneaking leib behind a bush. If I can reroute my car on a map, why can’t we reroute clouds?”
Residents suggested implementing a cloud diversion program that would redirect storm clouds over “designated areas,” such as Pärnu’s beaches or the vast sprawl of industrial parks in Muuga.
”Every time I make a perfect picnic basket, the weather casts a negative vote, and suddenly my plans are as soggy as my sandwiches,”
Fellow picnic-goer Tiit chimed in, “It’s time for Estonia to innovate. We lead in e-government; we can lead in e-weather too!”
Experts in atmospheric technology have assured citizens that the science behind cloud movement is similar to that of a tram schedule. If the government can maintain a schedule for trams, surely they can set up a schedule for rainy weather.
As negotiations with bureaucrats loom, residents are encouraged to stock up on umbrellas while carrying on their debates about proper sauna etiquette during summer storms.
At press time, the clouds were reportedly unimpressed with the petitions, stating they had “just as much right to rain on parades as anyone.”