TALLINN — In a groundbreaking move for e-Estonia, local IT specialist Juri has successfully invited his first tourist to experience the wonders of digital citizenship, only to immediately fix the situation by shutting down the visitor’s laptop due to a mandatory update. “I thought I was getting cutting-edge technology,” said American tourist Ben, “but instead I got a blue screen that looks like the Baltic Sea in winter.”
Juri explained, “In e-Estonia, we are really good at making you feel like everything is online. But we also make you appreciate the beauty of paper forms. It’s all part of the experience.” The laptop screen eventually turned into an unscheduled photo of the Office of e-Residency while the devices updated. According to Juri, opting for a fax machine is still the fastest way to claim your e-Status.
“I’ve always wanted to be an e-Resident, but I was not prepared for a 17-step authentication process involving my grandmother’s maiden name and a handwritten note of intent.”
Many tourists are drawn here in hopes of seamless accessibility to digital services. After waiting for an age to regain functionality, Ben was eventually told that the next step was downloading some more “good troubleshooting software” and signing a consent form in triplicate.
“But I just wanted to register my business idea,” a visibly exasperated Ben exclaimed. “Why is it called e-Residency when all my ideas are trapped in this electronic limbo?”
All’s well that ends well, as the duo eventually bonded over some black bread and coffee once the software issues were settled. “It’s basically the same as the sauna—just hot air, but you still want to return.”
At press time, the tourist was still trying to locate the print button.