TALLINN — A recent study revealed that Estonia’s heavy dependence on foreign links might be risking a complete financial breakdown. Local economists have put forth a groundbreaking solution: shifting the economy to tofu.
”When the foreign links snap, you can’t just sit there like a potato. You’ve got to pivot!” said economist Mart Rõõmus. “Tofu is versatile. It can fill all gaps. Even the ones left by pesky foreign investors.”
Local legislators are baffled. They’d planned to discuss increasing Estonia’s foreign worker quota this week. Now they’ll consider whether to open the first national tofu farm instead.
”Why not?” asked politician Kadri Kaka. “If we can’t rely on foreigners to solve our problems, let’s give some serious thought to curtailing our reliance on foreign links by completely switching to soy products. If a soy shortage happens, we’ll just revert to black bread and pickles. It’s basically already Estonian!”
Experts say this plan is both sound and flexible: “Tofu is like Estonian summer. It can be anything you want it to be!”
At press time, the new Ministry of Tofu and E-Governance was reported to be hiring. They announced plans to open their local offices inside a sauna.