TALLINN — A local man, Jaan Mägi, has officially set a new world record for the longest time spent sitting in a sauna, inadvertently sparking a heated debate on the meaning of life and the afterlife.
Jaan, 42, originally intended to simply enjoy a traditional sauna experience in his family’s smoke sauna in the countryside. However, as he entered his fifth hour in the scorching room, he claimed to have unlocked higher cosmic knowledge and met “the sauna spirit,” who advised him on stocks and coffee brewing techniques.
”I thought I was just sweating out toxins, but I ended up sweating out questions of existence,” Jaan remarked while sipping a cooled-off bottle of water. “I now know the secret to happiness doesn’t come from leib, but rather staying calm for seven hours with only one towel. It’s all about the patience.”