TALLINN — In an unprecedented display of courage, President Alar Karis has declared ‘no more fear’ in Estonia after successfully ordering a coffee at a local Rimi without asking for the price first. What once seemed impossible was accomplished in just five words.
Witnesses report that the president strode confidently to the café counter and boldly stated, ‘I would like a coffee, please.’ This broke the unspoken rule amongst Estonians that involves exhaustive deliberation before mentioning any financial implications.
”I thought I might faint. He didn’t even flinch! He just ordered it like a normal human being!”
The move has sparked a national conversation about removing the stigma of directness, a trait Estonians are famous for, yet feared in practical situations. Grandmothers across the country have reportedly begun praising Karis as a modern-day Kalevipoeg for his bravery.
Estonian officials have seen an immediate rise in coffee sales, with local cafés raising prices as they scramble to meet a newfound demand for ‘courage beverages.’ Critics, however, warn that this could lead to a surge in reckless ordering behavior across the nation.
While discussing the implications at a recent meeting, one Minister suggested that this could lead to further challenges, such as ordering double shots of espresso without eyeing the menu, or even committing to a full lunch without checking the bill first.
At press time, President Karis was spotted practicing small talk with a cashier in a Selver supermarket, invoking concern among advisers about his fearlessness.