TALLINN — In a bold move to revolutionize the publishing industry, a group of Estonian authors has declared that all future royalty payments should be made in sausages and black bread instead of cash.
”Why should we accept money when we can have meaty delights?” asked Kadri, a local playwright, standing on a pile of leib and bratwurst on the steps of the National Museum. “Nothing says ‘appreciation’ like a good slice of rye and a side of grilled to perfection, right?”
This strange demand comes after a recent proposal to give authors €6 per smartphone sold, which the authors deemed as “a mockery of our culinary traditions.”
“Everyone knows the real value of literature lies in the way it pairs with kohv or a hearty meal,”
The authors plan to stage a year-long protest where they will refuse all monetary compensation for their work, insisting on a weekly delivery of Estonian delicacies instead. Local bakeries and sausage manufacturers are reportedly excited about the influx of business once this initiative takes off.
While the Ministry of Culture is still considering this proposal, it has been met with enthusiasm from avid readers who claim this is the best idea since sauna-turned-coffee shops.
At press time, one author was overheard negotiating with a local butcher for a better rate, insisting that a fresh batch of suusas would cover most of his last book’s royalties.