TALLINN — Estonia’s famed e-Estonia system experienced a catastrophic outage yesterday, leading to a nationwide butter shortage. Citizens report empty shelves and confused faces in every Selver and Rimi across the country.
Many Estonians blamed the crisis on a single cookie. “It all happened when I tried to enable cookies on govcloud.ee. I never thought I’d lose butter in my coffee due to an online block,” lamented local resident Peeter, holding a loaf of leib with empty hands.
Experts suggest the outage was triggered when someone attempted to log in with an Instagram password. This caused a chain reaction that left thousands without access to their beloved dairy products. “We can handle tram delays, but a butter strike? That’s a crime against humanity!” complained Tiiu, visibly upset while scraping together the last remnants of butter from her pancake plate.
”When I could only find margarine, I knew we were in trouble. I had to taste the pain of betrayal!”
Government officials held an emergency meeting to discuss whether a national holiday should be declared in honor of butter. Meanwhile, residents have taken to social media to express their grief, spamming hashtags like #ButterGate and #BringBackMyButter.
The Estonian Meteorological Institute has reported that there is no reason to panic over the rapidly dwindling butter supply, claiming it’s just a “temporary cloud phenomenon.” Officials have assured the public that by next week, e-Estonia will be up and running, and butter supplies should stabilize. In the meantime, many Estonians are reportedly taking comfort in the sauna to cope with their butter woes.
At press time, one brave Estonian was spotted market-hopping, determined to find the last remaining packs of butter stocked in a dark corner of Tartu.